Thursday October 5th

I’m in Florida. I don’t know what to do about moving/not moving. I hate making decisions. I am so bad at it. I honestly have no clue about what to do. I miss NOah. I worry about  Noah. I miss John. I don’t miss my family of origin. My sister is a jerk. My mother is a mess. My sister won’t let my mother stay at her house when she is in Lexington and sometimes won’t let my mother see her children. I know my mother brought some of this on herself- cussing out William’s nanny. I’m sure my brother in law does not like my mother, and probably doesn’t like me or my brother, either. He definitely thinks he’s better than everyone else. I find this amusing because he is from white trash eastern Kentucky just like we are. He’s not an aristocrat, but try to tell him that. My sister loves his money and will continue to kiss his ass as long as he has plenty. 

Last night I was way leaning toward staying in New York. Today, I am slightly more toward to going back side. Financially, I know I should go back. I can teach for 10 years or so – more if I can, and then draw my retirement. I am thinking about going back to school and getting my admin certification. I don’t have to be a principal, but I could do something else admin and make more money. That would be me keeping my head down and just working, minding my business until I 1. finish the certification and 2. a job opportunity arises. At Winburn, I could have the opportunity to teach in that gifted program, too. Teaching gifted kids is something I could definitely do for a long time. The shitty behavior I deal with is one of the hardest parts of my job. 

If I had to decide today, I would go back, I guess. My principal and my coteacher made me feel terrible for wanting to leave

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