Barely Breathing

you still haunt my dreams. heart to heart. breath to breath. chest to chest. I can’t get over you. waking from a dream where I remember your skin, the way its smell infiltrated my bed sheets, the way it shivered tracing over my own, the way I gathered it between my fingers like you were a dying commodity. it was if loving you was the scarcest resource left on this earth. your body curled in mine the safest place.

I’ll never stop comparing people to you. everyone lacks your impeccable smile and your sassy charm. comparing people to is the world’s most illogical problem, with the world’s most unconventional solution. everything that isn’t you is wrong. everything that isn’t you, isn’t worth it.

I’m not willing to love anyone else. I’m not ready to re-tell my stories, not willing to map a new course. I still remember you. all of our honesties and agonies aligned. there is an ache that I don’t want to find anybody else.

the worst in you, that only I encountered.
the worst in me, that only you know.
I don’t really feel complete without you.

I don’t feel at home.

you were my home.

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