My ex boyfriend broke up with me in May. He said he wanted to stay friends and all that bs and so we have. They staying friends part made it pretty hard for me to get over him as we were still talking pretty regularly. Eventually I did get over him and now I kind of don’t want to stay friends because I now realise that we don’t have much in common, and our relationship was based purely on me falling for the first guy who ever asked me out. He keeps asking if I can come visit him but I don’t really want to, and even if I did I’d have to lie to my parents about where I was going. Now I know I should tell him, but there’s one main issue. Since the breakup he’s fallen into a pretty deep depression. He has started self-harming and I think he’s becoming suicidal. I’ve asked him time and time again to tell one of his friends, as I live 2 hours away and can’t help, tell his parents, or tell a doctor and he keeps saying he will but that he doesn’t want to put his problems on other people. But he’s dumping them all on me?

He’s always struggled with money, as have his parents. He is struggling to pass uni, but has decided to stay there even though he hasn’t passed anything in the two years he’s been there. He says that he really wants to do uni, but with the depression he hasn’t got the energy to try, even though he was just like this while we were dating and he wasn’t depressed then.

I’m filled with dread whenever I see he’s messaged me, because he messages me everyday. I’m not cut out for this. He says I’m his best friend and that he wouldn’t know what he’d do without me. I just wish he’d tell other people that can actually do something about it… What’s even worse is that if it weren’t for his depression I wouldn’t even be talking to him anymore. I’m just lost and don’t know what to do

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