Nothing says sudden depression like listening to sad Lana Del Rey and sad Troye Sivan and sad pop in general while trying to convince yourself to do the things you wanted to do before the weekend started but now have absolutely no energy to do.
Look, I know I’m probably appropriating the word “depression” because I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but everything’s just really hard right now, okay, and I really don’t know why. I feel sick and tired. I’m hot and cold and sweaty and clammy and nauseous.
I want to cut my hair off. I’m losing hair. My ponytail feels suspiciously thin.
Look. I don’t know WHAT is wrong with me, or even if there *really* is something wrong with me, but I feel terrible at least once every day and I can’t do anything about it.
I was planning on being productive and drawing today, but nothing has happened and it’s already four in the afternoon.
Boy, I hate myself. At this point no one should even worry about me because this is just my default state. My friend M, who is a very honest guy (in a good way; he’s cool) said “How has it been, emo girl?” the other day when he sat down at lunch. I asked him why he called me that, and he said “Because you look sad every day!” I laughed it off, because it’s really very funny. I guess I’m not as discreet about looking sad as I thought.
I’m horribly selfish. I can’t stand it. I’m not interested in writing, reading, drawing, looking up new music, doing homework, studying, working on college apps, going on Tumblr, scrolling through my Instagram feed, watching movies or YouTube videos, or talking.