No thank you, C

This is where I got some balls. fuck feeling this way. I am so much more than some girl who hooks up with a boy at his beck and call.

That is all I was to you. You did not care and did not give me a second thought. I knew that, it killed me. so many things about you killed me over and over again inside. You still haunt my thoughts and my dreams like a steady nightmare. It’s like I will always be living this nightmare.

I stopped reaching out, we stopped talking. You noticed. You were not amused. I remember on October 10th, 2015 you asking me, “Why does it seem like you don’t like me anymore?”

This gave me so much power- you wouldn’t believe it, and now you were under my thumb.

I remember waiting about twenty minutes to reply, just so I wouldn’t sound so desperate, saying “We’re just hooking up, like you said, it’s what we do- no emotions involved.”

He agreed and we moved on with our lives, for now. Remember Christopher, you were my Kryptonite.

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