Is reality playing games with me?

About a month and a half from now, I made an anonymous account where I would talk to my crush. I didn’t want him to know my identity because well, I was shy but I really wanted to get to know him more. He actually was rejecting me like hell when I first decided to contact me. He thought it seemed too sketchy for some random person on the internet giving him compliments and stuff like that. He thought I was a joke and he didn’t want to make a friendship or anything. That didn’t stop me from trying though. I contacted him again the next day and this time he was actually really nice. We ended up talking every day. It took about 2 weeks until he figured out who I was, and since then much havent been going on, we have still been talking every single day though.

But like now things have taken a turn. This saturday, I was hanging in the city, got cold as fuck and it was late so there was nowhere to go. Since lives really close to the city he invited me to his place instead. At first I was like: “Is this really the way I want to meet him for the first time? Late saturday evening just because im about to die of cold?” Well, I figured I’ve been dragging it out for so long already It’s probably the perfect oppurtunity for me to do it without.. well making it too much of a big deal. So yeah, I went there, even met his mother.

Didn’t get to stay there for long, but thats okay. Because now I felt that it wasn’t so scary to meet him. A second time would be so much easier now. And thats what happend, yesterday he let me study at his place, because the library was closed. 

I was going to hang with my friend first, so he could atleast get home and settle down before I come and invade his space. Then we suprisingly stumbled across him at the store, and like I told him I would join my friends inside the store first, so like I said: he could just go home and I would join him later. Things didnt end up like that though, when I got out of the store he was still standing there waiting for me. At first I was planning on just leaving, because Im mean and just wanted to avoid awkwardness. But then I realized that won’t get me anywhere. I went to him and I ended up walking together with him to his place.

The second time in just three days, I studied the first 2 hours, then gave up and just started talking to him instead. I was supposed to study the whole time, but I got so bored and he was there so.. why not? We ended up having the most random 4 hour conversation about everything and nothing. It was really nice, I like talking to him, and i like looking at him. I realized how much of an adorible dork he is. He made jokes that most people would probably think “what the…?”, but i found it incredibly cute so I just joined in on the random jokes. 

Buuuut then I’ve been thinking. Is reality playing games with me? This is going too awfully great well. Like, all the other guys there has been a problem and they have disappeared. This guy is getting pretty far, and I’m finding it unrealistic. Like I want it to go well, and long. Just the thing is, I usually dont get things the way I like, what is this?


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