Wednesday October 11th

My principal is driving me crazy. He has already been in my room this morning, trying to talk me into staying until November. I told him I already have everything scheduled, but he insisted that I try to call to change stuff. Ugh. He even pulled the “for the kids” line. That’s a low blow. That lunatic woman I was working with made me cry on the first day of school. I reached out for help several times, and all I got was told to document everything. I was a nervous wreck, even had a seizure that sent me to the emergency room. My anxiety was eating me alive and they let that shit go on for a month. She had to have a full on freak out in front of a class of kids before they did anything. I had to be with her all fucking day- share a room with her, work in the dean’s office with her, plan with her, have every goddam class with her. I sat outside on the ground next to the building one afternoon just to get away from her for 45 minutes. I just want this to be over. Just fucking over. I am about to lose it. I am a mess. 

My cough is terrible. I probably have pneumonia, but I don’t have time to even go to the doctor. I am so stressed out. I have to calm down if I am going to survive. 

Later, that same day… 

It is now 2:13pm. I have done nothing all day.  Today was some sort of “activity day” that  the seniors lead the 9th graders in, so I just had to sit in the room to supervise while they managed the kids. I got everything ready for tomorrow and my stuff graded so I can leave at 2:45 today. That’s good news. I looked at the principal program at UC today online. I am definitely going to do that. If I start next semester, I can be finished by the fall of 2019. I can just keep teaching at Winburn until I get an admin job. I don’t necessarily want a principal job, maybe an academic dean or admin dean so something. I could be an assistant principal, though, I think. Definitely at a middle school. If some of the fucking dumbassess I know are ap’s I definitely can do that. I am doing it for 2 reasons: 1. the money and 2. I don’t know how much longer I can manage kids behavior. It is exhausting. I also am about fucking done with people 1/2 my age trying to tell me how to do my job. Insulting and annoying. I am over that shit. 

I am wondering if I will get 20 years or 21 years counted for my salary step in fay co. I did work over 1/2 the year there last year AND, I worked several months in NY. I would lOVE to have that slight bump in pay. I need to save up $10k at least to buy a house. I need to save up $9k to pay off all my debts. So maybe I will need to rent for 2 years. I guess it depends on how good I am at saving (current answer; not very). I should be able to easily save $500 a paycheck. I really, really need to do this. I need to do some of the dave ramsey crap- get $1K in savings for my emergency fund, then start paying off my debts. I am hopeful I will still get a decent tax return even though I don’t have house interest to deduct for 2017. I honestly don’t think that contributes a whole lot to my total refund. A nice $5k would be great to at least make a big dent in all my debt. I really fucked around financially this year. The experience has been good for me, I think, but the financial choice, not so much. I was in a serious hole financially when I left, though. I am going to sell some clothes and stuff when I get settled in. Maybe I can work on it over Thanksgiving.What i wear down there doesn’t really matter. No one even knows what the styles or brands are, anyway. Might as well wear Old fucking Navy. 

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