Regular Day

Is it okay to sometimes think about yourself? Is it really okay to say thing such as to hate yourself. I hate myself a lot. I hate myself for not being pretty, because well I am too serious with myself. I don’t smile very often. I often find myself not smiling…. But that is just me. Today was just like any other normal day I had. It is the same routine I have every day. How I wish I can g out and explore more of this world. There is more out there that I wish to see. Like going to Japan for there cherry blossom festivals, or China for their superb history, or Seoul, South Korea for their music and culture. It is all so very interesting to explore. I had told my friend how I don’t really speak to my dad. I grew very distant with him for certain reasons I wish not to say. The only thing I can say is that I hate him very much. Honestly, I just do. Maybe it’s wrong, but that is just me. I think about making my grades better because I am such a disappointment. Nothing can change about this. He is not my dad. Sure, my biological dad, but not what makes him a real dad which are the factors. Enough about him……

Well, I have joined a Green Club at school in which we recycle and basically try to make this world a better place. You know that type of stuff. (No on really cares about). We do all sorts of things. I can’t believe that I have gotten used to my school. I want to explore more. Certainly, very much go to a concert that is coming up in December. I am so stressed about everything.

My life, for example. I remember things that I have done for example, dump my bf for not trying to see me as a person but for personal pleasure in which I had not provided for him. I will always be a conserved person, no matter how much people will try to persuade me. That sucks…. Anyway, if a guy just wants to date you for personal pleasure, then might as well dump him. Well, I didn’t do any of those things with him, which probably is the reason why he did’t want to talk to me anymore. Who gives a damn anyway about what he thinks. I was always the one that was worried for him, yet he was never worried for him. He didn’t care if he was flirting with another girl in front of my face. I actually accepted him as the person he was. Sweet. 

I think that is all for today diary.

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