school is challenging AF. 

i knew berkeley wasnt going to be a walk in the park, but holy shit every single person in my physics class is stressed the fuck out and ready to break down. and its only midterms. 

ive been hanging out with this guy, Ayato. he’s in my engineering class and yet he’s my math tutor for physics 2 lol. thats how i met him. he’s one of the first people i met here. he’s kinda weird. but he’s extremely attractive. we’ve somehow become drinking buddies. like we’ll go and hang out and almost like clockwork we always end up at the bar by the end of the night. he’s kind of crazy though, when i first met him he scared me. now he just intimidates the fuck out of me.  he’s got a reputation of being weird, but he’s hot and smart. well he works as a tutor in the math department. i have a real appreciation for anyone who can drink with me past midnight and yet make it to our 8am class AND still show up to work for tutoring. 

ive been drinking a lot more than i ever have before. i shouldn’t but ayato is …… a lot of fun.. and we have a lot in common so i guess thats why we’re always hanging out and drinking. we’re not dating or anything. i dont think he finds me attractive at all, ive noticed he likes really really pretty girls. the dainty, fragile, extremely feminine type. im a tomboy if anything. i dont own 1 pink colored piece of clothing in my wardrobe. but i do find him attractive. he’s my type; really tall, slender, jet black hair, piercing green eyes, NOT covered in tats (something i strongly dislike), a razor-sharp jawline, cheekbones, basically he’s gorgeous. he could legit be a pretty boy model if he wanted to. but he’s actually my type because he’s metal/goth rocker. and we like all the same bands/singers. and have the same sarcastic dry humor.  but people think he’s weird because….he’s fucking weird/crazy. he’s those weird people that dont make the effort to blend in and then you start to wonder if they’re socially retarded lol. but i find him interesting, when not intimidating, he was born in finland, he’s half japanese half finnish, speaks both fluently, and was raised by his grandfather in sweden. i guess the reason we’re always getting drunk when we go out is because he knows all the good japanese bars in san francisco (im always asking to go) and its so easy to get pissed drunk when you’re drinking and eating constantly. so yeah…not such a big mystery why we’re always getting hammered come to think of it lol.

i do think he’s fine. but i can tell he’s not interested in me at all, he’s ‘dating’ this other girl who looks like a victoria secret bulemic bitch model with big fake implants. if you can call it dating, she’s a total bitch to him. only takes his calls when she feels like it. uses him for his money. then they fight. and all they do is fuck and they never go out as a couple….at all…. since when is that dating? well what the hell do i care? as long as he’s paying for the sake i should probably keep my mouth shut.

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