I may smile but it means nothing!

Sorry for not writing yesterday! It was a hard day! A really hard day! I felt like the world would have been better with out me in it! So this entry will bejust about whatever! And we can pick up were we left off on day 3 tomorrow! 

I have had a really bad day yesterday I felt like my mind was going to explode! Really explode and in my mine set would have been ok with me! I have my ups and downs as does everyone  but some days its just too much! But i get out of bed and just keep going! I have decided that i need to go back on my meds for my ptsd and i feel i am going down a road i know all to well! I have tryed to kill my self in the past a few times! ( and no i didnt do it for attention) it really was my train on thought! I have been fighting with my boyfriend for the past couple of days and that wasnt helping but i guess he new that i was slipping and came home today for a night hes a truck driver and is gone alot! Im ok with that most days but sometimes i just need him and he must have knowen it cuz well here he is! And he has no idea how much i love him! I have alot of shit that he has to go threw like i never feel like i am good enough for anyone so he always has to tell me that i am, and i have to hear i love you all the time or i get worried that he will leave!! I am blessed to have him at this time. Anyways thats all for now

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