I don’t want to do the 12 steps

I don’t want to do the 12 steps.  I’ve done step one, and I don’t understand how recognizing this as an issue is not enough to stop doing it.  I don’t want to go to meetings on evenings I just want to be at home.  I don’t want to have to read books about this thing I hate when I could be watching tv.  I don’t want to call people I don’t know and make conversations about this.  I don’t want to accept that at 26 I’m going to have to make time for this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to have to change who I am and grow as a person, and realize that I’m not as great as I thought I was.  I don’t want to accept that the world does not revolve around me, and my life does not revolve around me.  I don’t want to get a sponsor and accept that I am not enough and I can’t do this alone. I don’t want to turn people down for events and social experiences because at times I am not strong enough.  I don’t want to keep this bottled up and I don’t want to tell anybody.  I don’t want accept that I have this problem and nothing can ever change that.  

One thought on “I don’t want to do the 12 steps”

  1. thank you for the advice! I am early in my journey, going to meetings and reading and looking for podcasts and things as well, I’m wrestling with acceptance still. It’s weird how in my head, I know I can’t do it alone, I need help, but I don’t think that’s completely worked it way down to really really believing it.

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