126 – found this written 12/2/14

To quote my fave musician – “so much to say, so much to say, so much to say…..”

I’m in a funk.

Been so long since I’ve written. Still missing OD – it was easy – because I was used to it.  This is more cumbersome but I suppose like anything else, would be easier if I used it more. 

So what’s on my mind…..

I still “stalk” him from time to time. He has posted pics of him and his wife.  Which is how it should be.  But it stings a little.  Takes that little thread of hope and wonder away.  Which is a good thing.  I just need to process it.  That’s the hard part.

Sister – managing her cancer.

Dad – knee replacement

Uncle – passed away

Mom – spent Thanksgiving in the hospital with back pain

Christmas – I don’t like it.

50 – it’s here. Why do I care?  Do I care? It’s a milestone.  I’m healthy.  I should be happy. 

Kids – wonderful, awesome kids. I don’t want them to grow up.  But they are  – right before my eyes.

Husband – I want more from him

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