My life is miserable right now

Yesterday, my life as I know it completely imploded.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been diligently working on a website for a radio station I was going to operate for a hypnosis chat room that I (used to) frequent called Sleepychat. Yesterday, one of the moderators in the chat room (Dr. Puppy – who I might add isn’t an actual doctor but spews bullshit about herself becoming a well-respected one soon because she’s going to college for psychology / sociology or whatever and god, do I feel bad for her soon to be patients). Basically told me “The moderator team has decided to not allow you to advertise or promote your radio station in the room. So I thought I’d mention this before you worked any further on it”

So, all that work… gone. No one else is gonna want Haven Radio, so I deleted the entire website, left the fan-based discord, and Amanda blocked Sleepychat on the router. So there’s one HUGE part of my life … just GONE. Because they couldn’t let me have that ONE little bit of happiness. 

I was so distraught by all this, I logged onto Second Life only to get hit with part 2 of my horrible evening. I wanted to talk to my friend Cinnamon (or whom I thought was my friend) about this. Her and I have been really close for the past 4 months, so I thought she’d be a good person to vent too about this stuff. NOPE! Turns out the minute I logged online, she sent back all my items on her land, and took me off her friends list.  So now, I truly have no friends whatsoever. I have no friends locally, so I can’t go hang out with anyone the only friends I had were online, and they were all from Sleepychat.

So now, I have no friends on Second Life, I don’t have a discord account anymore, I can’t go on Sleepychat anymore, so what does that leave me with?!!? There is absolutely fuck-all to do in Huntington WV, and I’m loosing my mind!!! 

Running the radio station for Sleepychat and hanging out in Second Life with Cinnamon WAS MY LIFE!! They were the only things that kept me sane!! Without it, I might as well kill myself because there’s nothing else to do.

I’m on disability so I can’t get a job, I can’t volunteer (because the government will look at that and go “oh look, if you can volunteer for 8 hours a day then certainly you can work”), and if I loose my disability, then I can’t afford to live! Amanda and I survive solely off my SSI. So what else is there to do?!? NOTHING!!

There are no clubs in Huntington, there’s no social events that we can attend that are worth going too, nothing! The moderators in Sleepychat just signed my death warrant because they are more concerned about power and control then letting one of their severely disabled users have a tiny bit of happiness.

I just want to die. 

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