On my way to work I was thinking about all the excuses I make to keep myself in these boundaries that I’ve made up and come to dislike. Quite a few of them begin with “I can’t” or “I’m not” this or that. It’s really starting to bug me. I realize that for the first time in a while I feel like I’ve made friends with some relatively healthy minded people and they’re rubbing off on me in a great self empowering/improving way. It’s baby steps but with these guys around I’m going to do my best to make the most of my time here. For instance, I actually went in on my own to a gym and asked for help. I hate asking for help but this lady was so nice and funny I felt a little at ease with the environment. I emailed to see if there were any spots open for this 6 week class that she’s got coming up because I’d like to join. I think it’s great timing on my part because it gives me a time frame to do things with them and they also include a meal plan. My determination is at a high right now and I want to do as much as I can to keep it up. I think I should make myself motivational sticky notes and put them all over the apartment. I’m lucky one of the guys is a bit of a health nut. Talking with him has been informative and helpful. His determination with himself is envious. I want to emulate him and in doing so I hope to turn myself around in the best of ways.
I'm growing. With every entry. With everything I read. Obviously. Like everyone else. I"m selfish. I hate the word but I am. I try not to be. I've found this website to be a great emotional outlet for the few times that I've written on here. Enjoy the jumbled mess.