[102] ~*Wed – 10/25/17*~

[1:58 am]

This is really not good. We went to see my brother today and it’s just not looking good. He was doing fine, he even ate by himself on Mon night. They were supposed to send him to another hospital for heart tests but in the night he had a hard time breathing so they put him in a coma and he’s now on life support. To get in the room and see him was so hard. It was actually harder than when I had went to see my dad on his death bed. My dad didn’t have any machines hooked to him, he was breathing by himself and we knew we were losing him so I think I was ready. My brother, totally different story. So many machines and tubes and we don’t know what’s going to happen. They want to take him out of the coma tomorrow and see what’s going to happen. My mom is talking about taking him off life support if ever he can’t breath on his own. This is just too much. I don’t know how my mom isn’t broken by all this. She does look super tired but other than that she seems alright. I couldn’t, I broke down and cried. I don’t want tomorrow to come cause I’m scared for the worse. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, it’s just too much right now. 

My friend was very kind and drove us. I had totally forgotten she had darts tonight and she missed it to come with us. That was very kind of her. She said that after everything I do for her, it was the least she could do. I was glad she was there and glad that hub came cause I wasn’t sure he would be coming. 

We had took the car for its safety before leaving and everything is fine beside the windshield that needs to be changed as it has a crack on the passenger side. We didn’t think they would fail the car for that as it’s on the passenger side but they are. Blah! Hub wanted to try and get out of it cause I’m sure it still passes as it’s not affecting the driver side but I told him we might as well get it done. He needs to call the insurance to have it covered cause we surely aren’t paying $700-800 for that. 

Beside this whole thing, I watched some shows and still am as I want to stay all caught up. I’m watching this last show and I’ll be heading to bed as it’s super late. I just don’t feel like going to bed. I don’t want this day to end as I don’t want tomorrow to be here but I need to keep going. I’ll prob read a bit before trying to sleep. I should of washed my hair tonight but I just didn’t have the will. 

Oh yea, I almost forgot. On our way back we stopped to this place where they have like 150 inflated Halloween decorations. It was so cool! Looked awesome and glad we stopped to have a look at it. I love Halloween stuff so much. Hub was actually sleeping and I told my friend to stop there at the last minute. She was just gonna drive by so she kinda braked at the last min so hub woke up and was like “what’s going on?!”. We were on the highway and at this time of year there’s a lot of moose so don’t blame him to wake up and be like “what the heck is going on”. Nothing serious, just Halloween decorations. Haha!

Anyways, I think that pretty much sums up my day. It wasn’t the day I had planned, at all. No movies, no grocery, no relaxing. Life is unpredictable and this is why I don’t like making plans. One day at a time!




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