I asked God if he would give me his heart… the heart of God and understanding. He did. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. He allowed to me to love so completely that I am willing to give my life so that another will live and love. And like all of humanity… they reject that love. All I want is to wrap my arms around him and take his pain away. I want him to rest in my love. I want him to let go of his pain and be free… but just like our heavenly fathers love… mine is also turned away and ignored. Instead he wants the quick fix of dope, whores, vengeance, and anger. And like Jesus my tears are many… the only difference is that my tears are kept by the Lord… his are to enormous for the heavens to contain and they fall to the earth… rain.
Sadly, I have loved several people like this and didn’t understand where it came from. Why did I understand that the definition of love is true sacrifice and no-one else did? Did I misunderstand? What was wrong with me? Why? I understand now. He wanted me to understand His love for ME! And now through Mr. Buttons…i understand. My eyes are opened. What it must feel like to be Jesus… to have actually given what i could not..His life.. for billions, only to have most all of them deny his restful peaceful gifts. No wonder it rains every day somewhere in the world. His heart is broken.