I’m so torn between seeing you and not. I want to because I miss you so much. I miss being in your arms and kissing you. But I know that it’s not fair for us to keep doing this to each other. I take responsibility for this, I keep contacting you. Knowing me I’ll still go see you though. I’m known for doing things that I know I shouldn’t.
I need to let go and move on. I know that. I was just hoping that as the days pass this would get easier but it just gets harder. I guess I could move on if I actually wanted to, but as of right now I don’t. I’m trying to figure out how. I’m keeping busy but honestly the only time I feel joy is when I’m with Juliana. She keeps me going.
I do want you to be happy. More than anything. I think in order for that to happen I need to stop this. I need to leave you alone and let you live the life that you’ve chosen. Just know that I get why you’re doing it. I swear I do. If this is what you think is best then I need to let go of this. I do hope everything works out for you and more than anything I hope you’re happy.