Painful tears

I didn’t even know my face could hurt from the amount of tears I’ve cried.. over boys… 

Today is just another normal day, its me getting treated like trash from the guy that I want. Whats wrong with me ? Why do I always get myself into these situations? 

Im not a bad person, Im not dumb, Im not ugly.. yet I can never find a good guy. 

This current guy had me so fooled, I let him in. I broke down my walls for him, because he actually made me feel like I could trust him with my heart. I have a bad habit of not trusting boys because of my past, but this one boy made me feel so safe and happy that I changed for him and allowed myself to open up. Its hard for me to allow myself to care about a guy.. but I did it for him.. 

He wooed me, got me to fall for him. He said he fell for me too, but that he’s not ready for a relationship… what??? 

We’ve been investing time and feelings into each other for over 6 months and you don’t want a relationship? 

In those 6 months this boy made me want to be in a relationship with him, but I guess I’m not enough for him to want to be with me after all this time. 

 

I cried, I tried to move on.. But he keeps coming back. Its like he doesn’t want me to let go. He says he cares for me and doesn’t want to lose me, but he doesn’t want a relationship… I cry some more. Does he look at me like the kind of girl that doest deserve a man who is proud to be with her? Does he think I’m not good enough? Is he embarrassed ? 

 

Ive cried so much…

Now just the thought of crying makes my cheeks hurt and my eyes burn.

 

No tears are left, only pain. 

 

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