One Of Those Days..

My morning consisted of a much needed massage. Since I was in another car accident in September, the massage has been helping with the whip lash in my neck and back. After, I had an overwhelming feeling of needing time to just “be”. I don’t think it’s related to last nights meltdown but who knows. I stopped at the store and got chips and a 6 pack of pear cider. Went home, drank one, rested for a bit and have puttered around since. I’m now on #4. I’ve spaced them out too far to get drunk but they taste good so whatever. It feels as if today has just come and gone with nothing to show… I was not productive by any means. Despite my pain being out of control, I always try to work through it. But today just wasn’t that day. I don’t know why I’m feeling so distant and far away but something in me is just… Off. I miss the feelings of being in love and having someone to come home to. My service dog is a God send yet not quite the same as human affection. I feel as if I am a burden to my family. I never have anything to talk about but my pain because that’s my life right now… I don’t have a job to go to or school to talk about or friends that I’m hanging out with. I’m just… alone. All the time. *Sigh* Today is just a day off from trying to be anything or please anyone. I just don’t have the energy today. Tomorrow will be better <3

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