So, I guess I’m the side bitch now.
Yesterday, I had a tutoring session at school with Ayato. At first I tried to pretend like nothing had happened, but then . . . well . . . we ended up making out, so that didn’t really work out. I KNOW its wrong, I know we shouldn’t be doing this. But if I’m a slut, then he’s a bad man – he turns his phone off when he’s with me, he pursues me, he wants me. Then I took him home, we had a passionate night, he ended up sleeping over.
The pillow talk is different when you’re ‘the other woman’. He told me he has no plans of breaking up with his girlfriend, he admitted that he doesn’t love her, and even finds her insufferable. I didn’t ask why he’s with her then. He asked me if I wanted to be with him, but I didn’t say anything. BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT OR WHAT I’M DOING. And it might be because what we’re doing is wrong, but he’s the best I’ve ever had. Oh my god, he was so fucking good, repeatedly. The next morning he turned his phone on, and saw the dozen missed calls and texts from his girlfriend. He called her back and apologized by telling her that he fell asleep early last night because he was sick, and that his phone had died. She was angry, but he managed to sweet talk her. I was surprised to learn how affectionate she is towards him when its just the two of them and they’re not amongst company . . . or so she thought.
Isn’t it crazy how you never really know who you’re sleeping next to? You just think your boyfriend, girlfriend, lover is who they say they are. Tonight he’s spending the night with her, and she likes it vanilla. He takes out his frustrations on me. I’m not jealous. I don’t want his love. I want his pain.