Destiny, oh Destiny.

I’ve always been a believer in destiny. Every person you encounter in your life, whether a big or small meeting, happens for a reason. The people we come across in our lives are there to teach us lessons, to bring us joy, even to bring us necessary pain. Sometimes we are the receiver of the lesson, sometimes we are the ones giving it. 

One of the most magical experiences in this world is when a person just happen upon you. You didn’t have to search for them, they just found you by chance. Running into someone that makes you laugh without trying, someone that makes you feel confident in your own skin, and the words you would never tell someone close to you spills out in front of a mysterious stranger with ease. 

It’s so rare to find a person you connect with so well… maybe that’s just me. I have a really hard time connecting with anybody…but my mysterious stranger seems as though he almost already knows me. When he looks me directly in the eyes it feels like I need to hide because, for once, someone is truly seeing me. He said to me, “I can see a lot more in those eyes than I’ll get out of you.” He literally knows how I’ve been feeling for months after having one conversation with me, and I didn’t even have to use words.

I’m trying so hard, Lord help me, to stick to my morals. I messed up once before, and I feel this could be another test…then again, if God’s plan for me is to be of my own best interest, is he trying to tell me something? It’s almost as if the world is doing what it can to drive me away from the trap I’ve put myself in…but how do I find the truth? I’ve never met someone so alluring…my stranger smells amazing…he LOOKS amazing…and he’s older. More mature. He has his shit together, and that’s something I want for myself. He talked about taking me to see his city…I bet it’s more beautiful than words can describe. 

The question I have to keep asking myself is not what do I want, but what is right for me? I’ve been struggling non-stop on the path that I continue to choose for myself, and for a long time, I felt that it WAS right and that God had answered my prayers….was God trying to teach me a lesson instead? And now I’m too hardheaded to see it?

All I know is, I don’t think I can bring myself to stay away from my stranger. I’ll continue to keep my composure, no matter what my feelings. I’ll find a way to figure out what I need in my life.

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