I hate getting up to shouting voices on a Saturday morning when that’s the only day i get to sleep in,urgh.
I need to clear a few things in my head. i need to have a serious talk with myself. I’m not gonna say 2 things again. i. not say things about far future ii. not tell the obvious.
annndd i hate double standards. I literally hate them. why do people say one thing and do the other. It makes me dizzy and makes me lose interest in seconds. the double standards and lies. i dont lie n and dont like being lied to as well. andd i have one problem i.e; im too direct. ugh! i hate this about myself but i cant help it. if i feel something i just say it. My dad and brother say its cuz i have a pure heart,i dont keep grudges. i just say what i feel like n not be judgmental all at the same time. i dont say anything until im not sure. when once i know, i cant help it. like i know the truth,next time im gonna see the person n there i go. im gonna blurt it out. it eats at me. also, i want to know the reason why someone would lie,like why? we were not gonna hurt you or something. fake ego. why keep up a false face when the truth will be disclosed sooner or later.
i have this thing also and its about myself. sometimes, i get into thinking that i wont be able to handle it like something will happen n i wont be able to take it and get thru it. but once its done, i always get thru it. definitely,i do feel the pain but i’m not miserable. once its done, i start thinking about how to get out of it n be okay. i get thru just fine.
i know i’m a strong person. we all family members are not very expressive but sometimes my mom says,’you are so brave’ and i know she is telling the truth. i know it myself too but it makes my faith in myself stronger.
i can do it. i can get through anything. i will be able to focus n not let things get to me.
i dont care!
i should get going now. bye