(My POV, in one of my livin’ rooms, after a long day)
It’s a tad earlier than it feels. It’s fall time now, still I set my clock faster, either way…
My bein’ now better settles into the apartness prerequisite, of the stillness of patient faith. Yet, the sting of fallin’ too deep into whatever’s occupying my thoughts (ie. her, them, or whatever, etc.) envelops a trip that I’m sure others participate in, yet only few grow to appreciate.
Ridin’ the wave, is a tidal, that modes synonymous with the crest of, success. That, and waitin’. It seems at times, that I do more of that than, anything else. The cool thing is that, such is ok. It’s a gift in itself. It’s ‘the present’. (Get it?) Livin’ in the now is how I’ve become. Rest assured though, most people don’t do it….
Love makin’, & sex have now become staples to mere breathin’. I’m finding more, and more, who want to inhabit the role of my participant in such, but still, I find myself embarkin’ the choice to choose the alone time, as precedent. What can I say? I adore my alone, while becoming their deeply craved, peace…But it’s not so bad, as their smiles (and other assets) are rather adorable, also.
I dodged a bullet, with a sister combo recently. They’d been daily waitin’ at the gym for me. The married one made it clear that she wants me(this kinda stuff happens so much now, that it no longer amazes me). She often unveils details of her life, that I suppose deserve some sort of retort or care from me. Parts of me listen, while other parts, push it aside with the surmountin’ bullshit, that I’m sure accompanies, the elevation of success.
Honestly, you just can’t care. None of these people were there, when you were broke, alone, goin’ insane, and nearly dyin’ from starvation. It’s safe to say, that they did n’t care, either. In a twisted way, I feel like I’m returning the favor, when I’m honest and abrasive. The interesting part of it all, is that they, sorta like it. An ill part of em, seems to sorta get off on it. I know, cuz no matter how hard I try to avoid them, they always jus happen to find me, with dilated eyes, and submissive gestures …Even as I outlandishly open up, about how I simply jus don’t give a…