132 – things

Feeling good. Mentally. Taking my EPO and soy as it is that time in my cycle. Physically I am feeling like a cow. BUT I did run this morning. It’s been a week. And I have not been running on any regular basis.  I am sadly out of condition.  So – moving forward my friend and I are aiming for Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings like we have in the past.  If I can get into this routine and keep the same eating habits I should shed a few pounds and feel better physically.

Such a big week for D. Aside from the physical changes that happened.  On Sat eve she was asked to babysit for our neighbor friends kids.  D is not a kid-person by her own admission.  She has said in the past that she has no interest in babysitting.  Well, she said yes to sitting for the neighbors.  And she did a great job.  They really don’t require any care.  They are not babies. But they are not old enough yet to be by themselves. I’m so proud of her for once again stepping out of her comfort zone and doing something new. An added bonus for H and I was that we got to go out with the parents – who are good friends. Had a great time.  I drank vodka which is playing with fire for me. It usually leaves me in a very low mood the next day.  But I managed it. I didn’t feel the usual anger I feel the next day. Maybe the EPO and soy are an offset for that as well? I don’t know but maybe I’ll try that next time I choose to drink vodka. H did the grocery shopping yesterday.  I love him for that – and for so many other more important reasons. But grocery shopping gives me anxiety. H is going out of town on business today and won’t be back until Fri night late. He chose a bad week to go – kids are off school 2 days this week! And I’m going to be a cauldron of emotions.  But awareness is everything.

On Saturday while D was at her writer’s workshop I camped out at the Y and finished the online course I started for my TA cert. I have 1 more workshop to complete and I will be able to apply for the cert. Then find a job.  That’s the hard part.  The frightening part.  The part that causes my anxiety to spike. But change is good. I know I can do this. Namaste.

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