I decided to write about my feelings during this recent transition. I mean cmon, my profile pic shows me single and I’ve deleted all my ex husbands pictures. I hate to air my dirty laundry out there, it very unlike me to do so. But I know I will be asked and I refuse to be embarrassed by it.
A couple of weeks ago my ex-husband decided to end our marriage. He said his needs were not met and I wasn’t the wife he needed me to be. It was a judgement call by his words. We’ve had our problems like any other couple, but I always thought divorce is never an option. We got married under god and our vows meant the world to me. How could he not want to work it out and give us a chance?! For better and for worse right?! I begged, cried, pleaded ..I need to save my marriage but he said no every time. I was devastated, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Am I that much of a terrible wife, he didn’t want to work things out?!
Praying to god I said please help me find some peace with this, it hurts too much. God works in mysterious ways. I came to find out, he had already made a emotional, loving, flirtatious connection with a coworker for months. She said she loves him! Already?! I saw all the messages exchanged. I have them all. And yes, I was left for the other woman who by the way has kids and is also going through a divorce. I’m writing this because I felt so ashamed and I don’t want any other person to feel this way. He decided to be unfaithful, he decided to break our vows. I will not be embarrassed by this and let it define me.
If you’re feeling any twinge of divorce shame, consider that you’re divorced exactly because you do value marriage. You do believe in commitment. You do believe in love throughout sickness and health. You do believe in family. And you’re divorced because your partner did not share those values and you refused to live a sham marriage.