To my ex’s new girl

Hey sis,

You are so lucky in so many ways. He is actually a good guy. He will make you breakfast, and coco when you watch movies. He’s a homebody but if you want to go out, he’ll drive. Listen, he’s not even the best part. He has the greatest family. His sister is sweet, and she’ll open up to you and ask for your opinion and advice. Sometimes she’ll go out, get a pack of something and give you something from that pack. There are a lot of family nights in that home. 

Dinner together in front of the TV. His parents are a little shy, but the nicest people you’ll ever meet. His mom is a great cook, even better baker. They owned a bakery at some point. She likes to listen to your dilemmas, fix up your plate when you forget to eat. She’s always cleaning so get used to that. There is also no privacy at all in that home. Everybody knows everybody’s business. There are no secrets, which I found odd at first. But I loved it after. Everyone was so close. 

Your man is caring. After a drunk night and wanting to go straight to sleep, he’ll take off your makeup for you and help you get dressed. Then dear…. he’ll tuck you in and go play on his computer. For hours.

He is lazy, impulsive, and arrogant. He got birds because he was bored and wanted something to look at at home. He never cleaned them, forgot to feed them… I did all that. I’m guessing they’re gone now, but you’ll find out that he’s lazy and impulsive in so many other ways. From dropping out of school 3 times, from the same program. Not because he couldn’t do the work, he just didn’t. He never went to school. He just stays at home so he could reach that platinum level of that stupid game. Now he’s (you’re) in debt because of school. Keep that in mind and I hope you have some money saved up for that baby growing in you. 

Yes, his family is really accepting. You live there and maybe have uprooted their lives. I mean, he and his sister shared one room in a two bedroom apartment. Now, how does that work with 1.5 of you in the picture? He used to always complain about having no money. Him personally, as well as his family. He’d often say that they didn’t eat meat much because meat was expensive. This guy had his dad paying his phone bill and gym membership. How are good intentions going to support you, sis? I hope your parents are loaded because you can’t work for a while. 

That guy you’re with, will try convincing himself over and over that you and this is what he wants. But the guy is eternally lost, with no determination and has no idea what hard work looks like. He’s a quitter. He quit two jobs and school while I was with him. He would quit his family if he could, especially his mom. He gets annoyed of her babying him. But he is a baby. He doesn’t even do his own laundry; I guess that’s your job now. Or is his mom going to do yours and the baby’s laundry as well? 

I think he’ll make a good father one day, when he finds himself. He has a temper and he’ll bottle it up for a while, until he just explodes. I don’t know what to say girl, because you’re already stuck. 

I really hope you’re the one, because life with him is going to be hard. He won’t like your parents because he’s arrogant and will say “your dad doesn’t intimidate me” after dinner with your family. You’ll basically be raising him along with your child. Just a warning, but yeah. I don’t wish you or him any bad fortune. I hope you will be happy because I know this isn’t an ideal situation. I hope the baby will give him that determination to be better. To stop giving up. Because you can’t quit your family, you can’t quit becoming a father when things get hard. Things will get hard.

I wish you all the best, I’m sure we would have made great friends, I’m sure I would have made a better friend than a girl friend to him. Believe it or not, I pray for you guys to succeed. And I pray that he’ll be better for your child’s sake. I don’t know you, but I pray you’ll be patient and won’t give up. He’s going to need reminding of his responsibilities. 

With love (sorta),


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