Dear Baby Brother,
You have no idea how much I love you. I’m not clingy to anyone but I’m clingy around you which I know is annoying as hell but I just don’t care about everyone else like I care about you. You’re my baby brother and the love I have for you is stronger than any other feeling I have. I want so much for you. You are so smart and so kind. I’m so proud of who you are. You have dreams and ambitions and the best damn sense of humor out there. I just want to hold you all the time and protect you from anything and everything. I’m not ready for you to grow up and not need me or want me around anymore. I know I’ll always be your big sister but there will come a point (honestly this point should have been 3 years ago) where you won’t be able to crawl into my lap and just hug me for a while anymore. You’ll start having your own experiences and living your own life and you’re already not a child anymore.
I’m worried that I’m missing out on so much being away from you in these super formative years of your life but I know it’s what’s best for me and what was meant to happen. I just hope that while I’m over here in college that you don’t forget how close we were and all the amazing and fun times we had as we grew up. You’re not even in high school yet and I’ve been given to the world, never to return. I’m scared because my middle school memories are very foggy and I don’t want to be a foggy memory, I want to be your best friend. I’m jealous of the time our sister has left with you. She will have a greater impact on you than I ever could and that breaks my heart. I’m missing out on so much of both of your lives while the both of you are growing together and bonding and being each other’s best friend. She’s the cool older sister now, I’ve passed down that title. I’m just worried that I’m not an important figure in your life anymore and that I will never get that role back.
It’s hard knowing that I won’t be in most of your greatest and most prominent memories. It hurts that you mean more to me than I will mean to you. I’m worried that you’ll forget about me and that there’s nothing I can do about it.
Your Big(gest) Sister