Is it inconsiderate or am I not being flexible?

I’m in tears. Why? Because I watch as people’s lives move on and change while mine is at a complete standstill. My sister is about to buy the SUV *I* wanted… I’ve wanted it for years but before my injury, I was so busy saving for a house and trying to be responsible that I didn’t. My best friend is looking into buying a new-ish lifted truck… The thing I’ve wanted most in life for years but didn’t because of my commute. There was always a reason why I didn’t do things and now I wish I had… Just bought the truck, gone on that vacation, hiked more, etc. It isn’t all bad, i’m closer to family now and get to watch my nieces grow up. I have the opportunity to attend volleyball games and pumpkin carving nights and family dinners… But all that aside, since I am “disabled” now, it’s as if people think my time doesn’t matter, that I don’t have anything to do… What’s tugging at my heart right now is that my niece is struggling as she goes through the learning experiences of being a freshman in high school. She’s trying to find herself and has made a mistake or two in the process. That being said, I was told last week that she could come have a sleepover tomorrow. I have looked forward to it and turned down other things all week because I thought she was coming over. I was looking forward to it being the highlight of my weekend… But I just talked to my sister and she tells me she isn’t sure she’s able to come over because she is grounded to her room. So… Why wasn’t I informed? This didn’t JUST happen. I feel disregarded. As if my time isn’t valuable so they didn’t bother letting me know. It bothers me because this happens time and time again. A few weeks ago we were supposed to head out to a wine bar. I asked her all week if it was still the plan and got no answer. I asked her 4 times that day and finally gave up. And it isn’t just my sister but other people, too. I am capable of making other plans. I have other things to do. And in the event we’re keeping our plans, it takes me ALL DAY to get ready so I need to know… So why do they feel it’s okay to just blow me off or wait til the last second to tell me? I am so frustrated and THAT is the reason I am in tears. It’s also been “one of those days” where everything has gone wrong so I am sure that isn’t helping… *Sigh* 

One thought on “Is it inconsiderate or am I not being flexible?”

  1. frustrating. I have been there. I was on disability and thought I’d never be returning to work. Dealt with (still dealing with) loneliness, feeling like a burden, an s.o. who ghosted me

    I believe sometimes we are too busy to find ourselves, discover new passions, find out who we are, and what we appreciate. Once we are given that time, it becomes an opportunity to learn, do some soul searching, reassess, rearrange. Sometimes it means discovering that those we’ve always been there for would not give us the same consideration.

    In that instance, we myst choose where we focus our efforts: trying to resuscitate the old, hoping to help our loved ones develop the traits we feel they should have, or accepting them as they are and then putting a plan into action to find those who already are what we seek, already possess those traits (in this case, consideration.)

    You are so good at expressing yourself here. Have you expressed to her that it would be more courteous or considerate if she at least communicated so you could make other plans?

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