November is getting Cold..and I wish I didn’t have a heart

At this point I don’t even want to title my journals. I don’t know how to even name the damn things. Only chose the title because it’s freezing balls for November. Zero degrees but negative fourteen windchill.
Ugh. Makes me feel bad for all the stray cats and dogs we have running around town. I always want to pick them up and try get them to the shelter so at least they are fed and warmed up. Hopefully rehabilitated. Don’t say it’s not possible. I have done it many times with feral cats. It just takes a LOT of time, but there are some that just don’t want anything to do with humans… I don’t blame them. Most of the human species are cold hearted. 
Tonight I went looking for that cat again. I’m trying so hard to catch her, but I don’t think I will since I only see her for like 30 minutes a night and it’s not really seeing her. It’s playing cat and mouse.. (haha) I’m chasing her and trying to get her to come to me, but she refuses. Tonight I couldn’t get nearly as close as the other night. She won’t let me get within ten feet of her. 
Just makes me feel bad that she won’t come to me.. but like I said.. I’m not there long enough or often enough to get her to trust me. But she knows I have food at least. 
Tonight I was able to get in front of her instead of behind her in the alley way that she hangs around.  She was sitting in someones yard and I found a magazine to put the canned food on and I scooted the magazine closer to her. She backed up and she wouldn’t touch it until I stood up and walked to my vehicle. Then she ran to it and started scarfing it down, but I was foolish to think that if I tried slowly getting close to her she would stay. The moment I peaked around the back of my vehicle she ran.  She took off into the next yard and I just got into my yukon and took a drive. Hoping she went back and ate it…
I took a drive and came back and didn’t see her anywhere after that. I went to see if she ate the food I left, but I didn’t even see the magazine anymore… so I hope someone didn’t come out and toss it. But it was black so I probably couldn’t see it in the dark on the cement that wasn’t covered in snow. 
But I didn’t see her again after that and I wasn’t sure she got to eat that food, so I put food in the little church on the other side of the alley. In the parking lot where I see her paw prints. Hoping she would find that and get more to eat or eat that if she didn’t get the other stuff. 
I really hope she’s okay. I haven’t seen any other strays lately. It’s like I’m the only one who finds them and I hate it.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a heart. It hurts seeing animals cold or hurt or hungry. 
The only plus side is that I know we still have foxes running around our place <3 I see their paw prints all over our yard and on the road in front of the house. <3 I miss seeing them ,but it’s good to know they are still around. 

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