My Crazy Queer life (Part 1- How it Began)

I’ve always been one to get myself into trouble but never like this. I guess I’ve never really had my heart stuck between two things i love. Its like i have a magnet on each side tugging as hard as they can and I’m helpless in the middle with no way out. I mean you cant actually escape your thoughts and feeling because they are always present, although i have drowned them out for a short period of time. So let me see where i should begin. I am a 26yrs old gay male so has spent many years living a lie. It all began when I was 17 years old, I had already been out of the closet for two years and was living on the wild side. I was skipping school non-stop and going out to the clubs on a nightly basis with my fake ID. My partner in crime was my good friend amy (not her real name) and we had been friends for over a year and a half. Long story short one thing lead to another one night when we were drunk and we ended up in bed together. Well some how, some way, that turned into a very painful 9 year relationship. Fast forward 9 years and we came to a mutual agreement to let our relationship die with the little bit of dignity it had left. Two months later I met the most spectacular man I think I have ever met. Now when I say spectacular I don’t mean it in the usual sense of the word. He was spontaneous and fun, with him it was all about the next adventure. Little did I know that those adventures would become repetitive and dull, I mean lets be honest how many times can you go to the same club and still feel thrilled. But I loved him like I had loved no other, and I would have done anything for him and still would. But our love was that Whitney and Bobby kind of love, at times it was euphoric and grand and other times it was right out dangerous as i had become physical and full of hatred. When it was good it was great but when it was bad it was tragic. We were together for a year and a half and had been through more than most couples when we lost it all (and by all i do mean all, apartment car you name it). He ( we will call him mark for simplicity) decided that he had reached his limit and decided to end our relationship. I’m not sure what i was thinking but i continued to fight for a relationship i wasn’t 100 percent sure about. That night he posted that we where over on social media and my phone flooded with concerned text and flirtatious advances from many of his friends. One specific friend who we will call roman phoned me and when he heard the whole story of our break up was very concerned and told me that i shouldn’t be alone in such a difficult time. This was my last week end in our apartment and roman had convinced me to let him come over and spend the night as a concerned friend. He arrived around 12 midnight and stated that he hadn’t had a chance to shower and really needed to. I told him that it was not a problem and I gave him a towel. I showed him the shower and then left to go get munchies from seven eleven. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen next. I returned and opened the apartment door to find him completely naked on my bed. At first i was upset because I felt it was quite presumptuous of him to think i was going to just jump into bed  after just having my heart broken. But he looked at me and motioned for me to come over to the bed and like a child I obeyed. Needless to say we spent the night in deep passion and even took a romantic bath together. We woke up the next morning to Mark calling me and stating that he was on his way to pack his things. I quickly got up and rushed roman out of the house. Mark arrived not even 10 minutes later. I was shook to the core, could you imagine if he had not called, what a mess that would have been. we spent the day packing as we where i spotted something shiny in the corner by the bed. I walked over and realized it was Romans gold chain with his name on it. This was crazy and straight out of a movie, thank god i had found it, could you imagine if Mark had found it. We finished packing and went our separate ways for that day.                                                                                                  TO BE CONTINUED………………………………………..



2 thoughts on “My Crazy Queer life (Part 1- How it Began)”

  1. If you need a friend to vent to or simply need to ramble I am always up for new friends 🙂 Keep your head up from reading some parts of this i relate to stay strong

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