[121] ~*Sat – 11/18/17*~

[7:39 pm]

I’m so freaking bored right now. I hate when I get this way. I’m currently watching a TV show but I’m still bored. I even play on my farming game as watching the show and still bored. Blah! I’m bored and don’t really want to do anything. I still want to paint my nail but meh, I don’t think I’ll be doing that tonight cause I have a feeling I’ll be going to bed early as I’m bored.

Since my client had already cancelled last night, I knew I could sleep in today but of course I was asleep at not even 1:30 am last night. I watched a few shows, went to bed planning on reading but I felt too tired to do so, so I just ended up sleeping. I slept until 2 pm today so that said, I slept for 12 hours. Beside that, I went to the movie and saw Justice League which was really good. I then went to my friend’s place to see if she was there but she wasn’t. I came home and was glad to be coming home early but now I’m not so sure cause like I’ve said, I feel so bored.

Anyways, I was still feeling emotional on my drive home from work. It’s insane! My heart always feels so heavy and I just feel so sad. I wonder how long I will be this way. I also can’t believe it’s already been three weeks that my brother has passed and that the funeral are next week. I know people normally have the funeral the same week so this can seem weird but yea, time is just going by way too fast. Talking about the funeral, I’ve talked to my other brother last night to see when he was planning on coming home and he said he wanted to leave today, I guess he’s driving home this time. I’m a bit upset with him and kind of want to have a talk with him when I see him but I don’t know if I should or not. The thing is, he didn’t come to my wedding which really upset me and I still hold a grudge for it. Him coming for the funeral is kinda making things worse. I mean, he’s spending money to come to our brother’s funeral which really wouldn’t matter cause I mean, he’s dead, it’s not like he’s gonna be able to talk to him or anything. He also came for our dad’s funeral which was the same. Yet he couldn’t spend money to come to my happiest day. He spend money to come see dead people (he doesn’t even see them as they were both cremated) but not when we were all alive. I don’t know, it just gets to me. It really bothers me that he didn’t show up for my wedding and didn’t even have the guts to call me and tell me he wouldn’t be there. 

I don’t really want to get into it more than that right now cause I don’t want to upset myself. I just can’t believe how bored I feel right now. I kind of want to go out but to go where. I just wish watching TV shows would be enough to keep me busy but seem that it’s not working. I need to find myself a game to play on the PC but an offline one so then I wouldn’t get competitive with other people and feel bad cause I can’t play as much as they do.

Hub cleaned the suggies kitchen last night when he got home from work and fed them. He’s so nice! He also cleaned it today before work so I already fed them. I also saw that he cleaned the litter boxes which he never does so I’m quite impressed with him. 





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