[122] ~*Sun – 11/19/17*~

[10:24 pm]

Well, I’m pissed right now. My brother made it to mom’s and I just can’t believe him. He drove like 18 hrs to come home, made it to mom’s place, spend 10 mins there to basically go to the bathroom and leave to go see his friends. He didn’t even check out mom’s new place or anything. She was off tonight and he can’t even spend his first night here with her. He just drops by to use her damn bathroom and leave right away. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?! We just lost our dad a year and a half ago and now our brother and he can’t even bother to spend time with our mom. I’M SO PISSED!! Mom wants him to carry our brother’s ashes at the funeral cause I carried our dad’s and I was okay with it but now I don’t know. I just feel like he doesn’t even deserve to carry our brother’s ashes as he doesn’t seem to care about us but just about his friends. I just feel that this is all just so wrong. I said something about it to mom but of course she’s taking his side. No one ever takes mine.

Anyways, I’m still having trouble with mornings. I keep looking at the time about an hour before I have to get up and it screws up everything. I keep telling myself I have time to fall back asleep but my body keeps stressing, sorta, as I have to get up soon and blah. Once I’ve looked at the time once, I just keep looking at it.

So my day wasn’t too bad but once again, it was quite busy at the store and I didn’t get time to do much. The only good thing about it is that it makes my day go faster but I hate when I don’t leave the store in a “good” shape. I feel like I haven’t done my job but there’s nothing more I can do. I wish they could give us an hour or two after the store is closed to give it a good clean cause while we’re open there is just no point in trying to clean. It’s also just gonna get worse until Xmas is over.

I’m not working at the store tomorrow night so I’ll be able to go to the Casino after work. Woot woot! I could of had my hair fixed tomorrow in the end. Oh well, an extra day won’t kill me.

Well, I think it’s time for a nice bath.




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