Another Sleepless Night

It’s 3:53am and I should probably be asleep so that I could finally wake up and feel rested for once, instead I’m awake reflecting back on what happened the past few days. 

The only positive outcome of staying awake that long is the fact my mind had finally sobered up and I can think much more clearly, I’ve had enough of tripping. Which was my fault considering I haven’t eaten before I decided to have some fun with my friends. Not a good idea, trust me. 

Friday was pretty eventful. For the first time in the week I woke up feeling much more motivated and optimistic and actually looked forward into going into college compared to most of the time where I either feel sleep deprived or fed up of pretty much everything. But Friday was different, I got up and got ready without complaining. It was probably the fact it was the last day of the week, but for what it was worth I was enjoying that sudden change of attitude.

After I got ready, I rushed to town on my bike, the luck was in my favour. Just as I arrived to the bus stop the bus was due which means I could have missed my bus in the space of few mintutes. Luckily I didn’t and I made my way into college feeling stress-free. 

My lessons run pretty smootly, I finally managed to complete one of my assignments which I’ve received a First Warning for, as apparently I didn’t meet the deadline. Which was not my fault. My teacher didn’t allow me to stay after my lesson just so that I could complete my assignment, which I would’ve completed in less than 10 minutes. But no, he had to have it his way, which eventually got me in trouble. What happened to having teachers which want us to achieve our full potential? He clearly wasn’t one of them. 

Anyway, after my lessons finished I was making my way out college when one of my friends noticed me. But what’s worse, is the fact she stood with one of my ex-bestfriends. She wouldn’t call it that though. Apparently she believes we were never friends in her mind, which honestly is slightly upsetting considering you spend a lot of time with a certain person, believing they’re your friend, sharing your secrets and personal information, trying to be the best possible friend, only to have it thrown back at your face. Over what? A guy and false accusations. I would understand her sudden hate towards me if I actually did something wrong, but I haven’t‭‭. The problem is, you can’t argue with close minded, narcissistic people because they can never admit when they’re wrong and they live in their own pride and rather drown in that selflessness instead of apologising and admitting when they’re actually in the wrong. 

In fact I had more of a reason to hate her than she does. We both turned 18 recently and me being the good friend, I made sure I attend to her birthday party and brought her a present as turing 18 is a special occasion and I wanted to make it memorable for her. She returned the favour by not coming to my birthday, instead she went out clubbing with my ex-bestfriend that I’ve been friends with for over 9-years which she only knew for few months, and met her through me. Then she rubbed it in my face on the day of my birthday by uploading her partying with my ex-bestfriend all over social media. But hate is a strong word, and I didn’t want to hate her. I felt disappointed, but I didn’t react I chose to ignore it. Sometimes you just have to let go of certain things (certain people) because they hurt you over and over, so why put yourself in the vulnerable position of getting hurt by them again? That’s why I’ve decided to let it go. 

Only to receive a message from her the next day threatening to beat me and literally going crazy because she thought I messaged her ex boyfriend. It’s pretty ridiculous, and the truth is that I would never do such thing because I unlike her, respect my friends and messaging her ex wouldn’t do me any favours. I had no reason to message him anyway even if I did he wasn’t my friend so I never felt obligated into messaging him. 

So she stood there, we were both friends with the girl that walked up to me and I was heading in the direction of where she stood. My friend Sara tried to have a conversation with me whilst we stood right next to her, so we made a small talk and catched up with a few things. I did not make any eye-contact with my ex-bestfriend, whatsoever. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction that she’s acknowledged after everything she’s done recently so I purely decided to ignore her. I said goodbye to Sara and made my way out of college. 

On the way back home I received a text from my mum asking if I wanted to go to a concert with her friend and help him out during the concert as he was a sponsor. It sounded like it would be fun so I’ve agreed. It also felt like a good idea as earlier that day I’ve argued with the boy I’ve been seeing. We do everything that normal couples do and you may wonder why don’t I just date him already. Maybe if it was a different time, then I would. However, earlier on this year I was in a long term relationship and it wasn’t very long ago since I’ve broke up, so I’ve decided that I don’t want to rush into anything serious, just go with the flow and go through the process of getting to know someone and not treat them as a rebound in contrast who my ex who a month after our break up found a new relationship and posted it online, defoting their love for each other in every comment. It’s pretty funny. But that’s besides the point. 

My mum informed me that her friend was going to arrive at 15:30. By the time I got home it was already 15:00, the gate to my garden was closed so I had to pull out a bin, get on top of it and jump over the fence to get inside my house. It required way too much effort but I had no other choice. When I came inside I layed down and started removing my makeup as I wanted to redo it so that it’s fresh for the concert. Ten minutes later…I hear a knock on the door. It was my mums friend. Well, he showed up a lot earlier than I expected. I was not ready. I had to rush which wasn’t fun at all. 

We drove for a while and made some small talk. I also found out we were going to a completely different location that my mum told me, so throughout the whole day I pretty much got all the wrong information. There was a lorry in front of our car and I didn’t pay much attention to it until I felt my body being pulled forwards, thank God I was wearing a seatbelt, there was minimal distance between our car and the lorry. We were really confused to what’s happened and felt relieved we didn’t crash into the lorry but as we got out to check what happened, I couldn’t believe my own eyes…

There was a man laying on the ground. His body was motionless and the first thing I noticed was the blood surrounding his head. I was in shock. My mums friend ran to his car to get first aid kit, people started running towards the accident. I felt nauseous and the injured mans skin turned blue. I noticed that the blood came out his nose and mouth so I told the people that maybe we should tilt his head sideways so that he doesn’t choke on his own blood. Someone called for the ambulance but before it arrived we had to leave as we needed to attend to concert. We sat in silence for a while, there wasn’t much to say. I felt like crying and couldn’t help but feel sympathetic towards the man who could’ve possibly lost his life, if he hasn’t. We were told that he jumped in front of the lorry in order to attempt suicide. It really was upsetting that he felt so desperate that he acted so impulsively. 

On the way to the concert we picked up two more people which worked with my mums friend. Eventually we arrived to our destination and got inside the building before everyone else so that we could set up our equipment and prizes. Our job was to walk towards the people ask their for their names and their phone number and we would give them a number that we would then raffle and they could win a free tablet. Not going to lie, I wish I could have took part in it, it doesn’t happen often when you can actually win something for free. 

The experience was really good in general, excluding the part were a few of older men made some inappropriate comments towards me. It really was disturbing #creepalert. Apart from that, I had a good time. The concert began and I had a few drinks. My mums friend disappeared somewhere so I sat in the VIP section not knowing what to do with myself. To make it worse my phone died too so I awkwardly sat there eating sweets and listening to music. 

A girl sat next to me, she worked there as well. From her appearance it looked like we were around similar age. We sat there for a while and made some conversation, she seemed really nice and offered me a drink. It was Jack Daniels mixed with Coke. After a few drinks I began to relax and felt more confident. We went on the dance floor and enjoyed ourselves to the music. 

The night ended with me going on the stage in front of everyone to participate in the raffle. People won the prizes and it seemed like everyone had a good time. I felt exhausted by the end of the night and I arrived home at 2am, I couldn’t fall asleep for a while but in the end I managed to drift off to sleep.


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