The tale of how I lost my magical world

I have a love and hate relationship with my old myself, and I am sure that I am much happier now but I was more awesome back then. I was your typical weird girl with many nerdy, weird, and awkward friends (I miss them so muuuch!). I would skip lunch sometimes to read fiction books because I couldn’t put them down! I was called out by teachers for many times during my high school days for not listening. I would always space out and daydream about creatures or worlds that I read about in novels. Plus, I always wanted to explore the wild and the deep sea in the hopes of stumbling to a different world. Yes, my weirdness got me in dangerous situations (my fault) but that’s okay. The thing is I get bored and then I go to extreme measures to satiate my hunger for thrill. But my innocence didn’t last long. 

I had my fair share of puppy loves and I had my first boyfriend when I was 13 but we were kids so it didn’t last long. I realized then that I am not into dating because it made me uncomfortable, but I tried again when I was in 4th yr. I didn’t like the guy but he has a sports car and my other friends thought that was cool so they pushed me to date him. It was fine but I didn’t fall in love and he was too vain for me to take seriously so I ended things fast. But this Person happened and he took away everything. He manipulated me and it was too late for me to stop it.

He was there in the dark room alone with me. I was crying but he said comforting words that I couldn’t hear. He guided me to the bed because I was frozen in place and right there he stripped me of my innocence. My head screamed that I should get out but his hands were firm around me. He said I would like it, love it even. I never did. I cried heavily when it was all done and all he did was coldly pressed himself against me to show that he cared. But I know he didn’t. I went home and cried again and that went on for days. I felt so empty and that I’ve lost the old me.

P.S. I am much stronger now but I am much shallower than my old self but that’s okay because I no longer feel empty and I am much happier! I met my boyfriend when I was trying to sever the ties I had with that Person. My bf was the only person that saw my pain when nobody noticed, and after that, the rest is history. 

Good night! ^_^

2 thoughts on “The tale of how I lost my magical world”

  1. Hey, I was just like you. Full of optimism and lived in a little world that I created through my imagination, you might feel like that part of you isn’t there and that your “innocence” is gone, but it isn’t. Experiences like that may not be the best but sometimes we can learn a lot from them, it’s good you feel better now tho!

  2. I know there may not be any words that I can say that would comfort you, but I hope you see what you have now than what you have lost. You may have been through a very traumatic experience, but remember that an experience like that doesn’t necessarily mean you have become weak. It means you have become stronger. I am also a victim and have had a Person just as shady as yours approach me in a similar manner. Just remember that you are not alone. You have your boyfriend now who can help you through the toughest of times. Also, remember you are a stronger woman now because of what you have overcome. I hope your days are now brighter because of the people you choose to surround yourself with and I hope you are smiling brighter now than you did before.

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