“YOU WILL KNOW WHEN I LOVE YOU”

You will know that I love you

even when I don’t say it

not even out loud

or even when I’m still way too proud

That fact, I have to admit

I still own it

 

How?

It’s tricky

Sorry, I’m not making this easy

I promise you, though

it won’t be too cliche or tacky

 

You will know that I love you

and it’s not from how I compliment your looks

Vanity’s not in my books

You never have to look like a supermodel

as long as we can work out our troubles

 

You’ll be surprised

when I let you win a spar

even when I know I’m right

or don’t feel like putting up a fight

or perhaps just accept that you are

Which one is it?

Take your best bet

 

You will know that I love you

when I ditch my favourite rock concert

or reschedule my hangout time with friends

just because I find out

that you’ve been hurt

I will surely feel worse

 

You will know that I love you

when to me, your opinion matters (or starts to)

Still, I make my own choices

but you’ll see that I’m staying

as long as you don’t treat me

like a mere puppet on a string

 

I’m not the all-too-clingy

I hope you have the patience with me

I don’t want to be some damsel-in-distress

but I still appreciate the help

before I crash

Believe me, I’m still learning how to ask

 

You will know that I love you

when you apologise for your fluffy hair

but I don’t care

I pay more attention to the redness in your eyes

and I wonder if you too realise

 

I may appear tough on the outside

because I’m just not the prissy type

I’m willing to take almost anything in the world

but tears in your eyes are probably some of the worst

than all the pain I’ve ever suffered

 

Last but not least,

you will know that I love you

when I won’t waste time fretting about how you were

but how you are right now even more

and hopefully, you will become someone better

sometime in the future

 

You will know,

but how far are you willing to go

to that day – when I will start loving you so?

 

After all I’ve written above

I hope it’s enough

but sorry, I have to break this news:

I’m still not changing my ‘everything’ for you

because I still love myself too

I only do it when I want to…

 

Haha!

 

So, care to find out

what I’m really all about?

For starters,

we need to find a place

where we can meet face to face.

 

Then we’ll begin from there.

So, what do you say?

 

(Jakarta, 17-18 November 2017)

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