After a long two year abusive relationship based on emotional and verbal abuse, I gave myself about two years to find myself again. In the present day, I feel that I have found myself and have learned to love myself once more. I am now a strong, and independent person; furthermore, I am so proud of myself for being able to fight for myself and what I believe in everyday. However, what I noticed when I entered my latest four year university was that most men prefer women to be easy. On the other hand, I am now putting myself on a higher standing than I have in years; therefore, I find it difficult for me to actually find a guy I would like to date. It is also hard to find a guy who is attracted to me. I know I am a pretty Asian girl with good social skills and high morals. (P.S. This is not because I think I am, but because I keep being told that by everyone I know.) Some of my friends think maybe it is because I made myself so self-confident and independent that it deters some men from looking my way. Either way, I am proud of myself for becoming the person I am today.
Some of my friends persuaded me to try out online dating for once because it seemed I was not attracted to any of the guys around me nor was I really attracting much attention either. I started out with Ok Cupid, which led to Coffee Meets Bagel, and various other sites. I ended up deleting them all one by one because it seemed the males on there were not looking for a true match, but for an easy get together. I am craving for commitment and a passionate guy who would know how to make me laugh, while also upholding some strict moral values. It really turns me off when a guy ends up being a jerk or for being an unintelligent human being who thinks a corny pick up line would be enough to get him through the door and into my bed. As of now, I only have an East Meet East account and as of now, I am also soon planning to delete it too. I just feel that I cannot seem to find any potential guy who would understand me and respect me for the person that I am. Furthermore, all this searching has been giving me some social stress that I did not sign up for. I did get some matches with a few cute guys, but in my opinion, looks can only be considered as a bonus. When they each tried to message me, they would end up saying something I felt was not very fulfilling. As of now, I may or may not delete my account and just hope for love to come find me instead.