Can life get any better ? .. in my eyes no .. no it can’t! Everything is completely perfect being with Dustin ! The love I have for this man and his boy and his family is so unbreakable! He’s all I think about . He’s all I’ve ever wanted , I love being loved by him and I love loving him back!
Life can be a roller coaster sometimes and all you can really do is steer it into the right direction .. but not everybody can do that right away .. man it’s taken me years to finally realize what I’ve wanted in life .. what I needed to be happy .. I could never figure it out.
When I was with my ex I though I was happy .. I though he was the one .. I had kids with him and got married and I thought I was happy .. we smoke a pile of weed and never drank . I smoked a pack of smokes in 2 to 3 days . We both worked hard to pay for what we wanted and bought a house and had a car … but it came to me that I wanted to quit smoking weed .. and when I did . We grew apart . To this day i know that it was the weed that kept us together . It was the quitting that made me realize this isint the life I have in mind , even tho I had everything .. a house a car my kids all under the same roof.. they weren’t happy and neither was i .. the constant fighting was a headache . It got to the point I couldn’t breath and I broke everything off .. I moved out a month and a half later into my own little place in town .
I was finally allowed to be me . I could do my makeup and not be afraid of him coming home and accusing me of having someone over , I could wear my nice clothes again and not have to worry about him wondering who I was dressing up for .. although I was still scared of him , being out from under his roof with my baby’s made me happier everyday ! Until my anxiety hit , I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying dreaming of the stuff he did to me and the word’s he’s said . I was broken and I was sad . I didn’t want a man I wanted hook ups .. men that would make me happy for a night then leave me alone and that’s it .. then it came to a point were I didn’t even want that.. i didnt want amybody to even touch me .. this went on for 2 months . And I’m ashamed of myself for letting myself get that far because it wasint me . It wasint who I am. I was once again sad , depressed and alone .
Till Dustin. He made his way into my life , I was a nervous wreak driving up to his place that Sunday night .. I couldn’t stop wondering what i was doing and why I was doing it.. that night I tried to make myself believe that it was just another one night fling . I’d be up and gone in the morning and nobody would see us leave and he’d drop me off and it’d be done and over with.. but it completely opposite! I pulled into the driveway with my heart in my stomach I was nauseated . I didn’t know what to expect . I didn’t know what to think .. I guess you could say I was scared. But as soon as I seen him I smiled because he was smiling at me , and once I walked up to him he kissed me very first thing ! At that moment butterflies appeared in my stomach , my heart was back up into my chest and racing like crazy and i realized that i would neber have to be scared again , then we walked back to the bonfire and sat beside his mom and dad who I did not expect to meet on the same night I met him , but they’re the most amazing people I’ve ever met .. and all Dustin could do was sit there and stare at me .. to this day id love to know what he was thinking but at the same time I don’t want to know !.
That night turned into the best night of my life, to wake up beside him everyday since is a blessing that I’d never take for granted because he is the most amazing man I’ve ever meet ! Obviously I’ve been with other men .. I’ve been with boys who lead me to believe that they were men , but right from the start Dustin was a gentlemen.. and actual sweet and caring man that I’ve fallen deeply in love with and still do each and everyday ! There comes a point in one’s life that you know it’s the real thing and I’ve finally found it .. I can actually feel it and let me tell you it’s the most amazing feeling in this world and I ain’t ever letting it go ❤