[126] ~*Sat – 11/25/17*~

[11:12 pm]

I didn’t have time to write in the past few days. Thu afternoon we left to go to my mom’s and then I was busy pretty much until now. On Thu we went to town and met mom there. We played a lil at the Entertainment Center but didn’t win anything. I guess I could of wrote that night cause we got to mom fairly early and didn’t really do much beside relax but I guess I just didn’t feel like writing. I watched a few episodes on my phone and went to bed it was barely 9 pm. I thought I was going to watch more shows and read but I talked with hub a bit and then I watched one show and was falling asleep while watching it so that was it. Once I was done I put everything away, took my pill and slept.

Fri was the funeral. I had told mom I wanted to carry my brother but she seemed to really want my other brother to carry him so I just let it go. I can’t believe it’s already been a month. Time is just going by way too fast. After the funeral we went out to eat at the restaurant, went back to mom’s and then went to town to see A Bad Moms Christmas. I know we had already seen it but we were inviting a friend to the movie and I thought she needed a good laugh so we decided to go see the movie again. It was as funny the second time as the first. Our friend is going through a hard time as her son ended up in the hospital about 48 hrs after my brother passed and he’s still in the hospital and she’s pretty much been in the hospital with him ever since. I’m just glad when I think back on this that mom didn’t have to be at the hospital like that. It must be really hard, all this time and not knowing if he’s really gonna get better. At least with my brother it was done fairly quickly. Her son was on life support as well and got heart surgery and apparently when he woke up he said he wish they would of let him go. That made me think of my bro, I’m sure it’s how he would of felt if we wouldn’t of decided to let him go. Still to this day, it hurts, but deep down I know it was the best decision ever for him. He fought enough, he deserved to be at peace.

I don’t even remember if I ever talked about the cat that showed up at my mom’s after my brother passed but there’s this cat that showed up at her place the night my bro passed. He came up the stairs when we got home and it was as if he was part of the family. We said it was my bro’s spirit. The cat showed up a few times but not too many after that. It’s prob the people that lives behind mom that owns the cat. Anyways, mom hadn’t seen the cat for a lil while and when we got out to go to the funeral, the cat was waiting for us on the steps. I’m really believing that this cat is my brother which is funny cause he was allergic to cats. I am too and I still have some so not a big deal but yea..

Today I slept until noon and I could of slept more. I’m so tired! My back was in such pain thought when I finally got out of bed. Mom wanted us to go get some food which I would of went but my back hurt so badly that I couldn’t of even made it to the car so she went. We left her place around 3 pm to go to town and meet our friend once again so we could go see the movie Coco which was very nice. We went back to the Entertainment Center and lost again. Mom must have lost a lot of money in these past three days which I feel terrible for her.

We made it back home around 9:30 and I went to see my friend cause I wanted her Casino card to go try her thing as she couldn’t go. Once there she realized that she must have forgotten her card at the Casino the day before cause she couldn’t find it. That said, I didn’t go to the Casino and came back home. Hub went to his sister’s. I was gonna go there as well but there’s too many people and I don’t like it so I decided to come back home instead. I kinda really wanted to see the lil one but I guess I will have to wait another time.




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