114. Family

 When it comes to my family, I have always been a ‘yes man’. Always doing and giving everything they ask of me, regardless of the position, mentally, physically, or financially. 

Only recently have I realized, they’re just taking advantage of me, using me as third step up. The more time I spend with my sister, I’m beginning to think this is true of her as well. It tears a hole in my chest, I always thought she was really the one I had. True family. How ever, in reality not one person has any sense of ‘family’. 

 

Thanksgiving for instance, I walked in for dinner, and everyone walked out. I wasn’t even late. Not only did not a single person stay, spend time with me, or eat with me, I was left to clean it up. Even my mother left to for some hook up. It makes me boil on the inside, everyone keeps taking from me, and I have to eat alone on Thanksgiving. My only save and grace that day was dinner at James. It was really nice, relaxing. 

 

Not having a partners house to tend to was…different. almost empty feeling, right now, of all my siblings, I’m the only one single. 

         With how I’ve been feeling…. 

I always will be….

 

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