Last month of the year coming fast!

Ready or not.

Here comes December 2017.

What an interesting year.

Upon reflecting my life it’s about to change AGAIN.  Why can’t I get a steady continuous boring routine in place.  Please.  All these changes and curve balls I’m feeling flustered and weak. 

Nooooo I hate being weak.

I have to be strong.  I support myself.  I’m old…

Day by day I keep on going.

I’m really scared doing things by myself but I have support of my bf now.  I can’t seem to accept and commit to that feeling until he puts a ring on my finger.  My ring size is 6-1/2.  He doesn’t know how excited I feel about him picking a ring for me… I don’t care how small the diamond is hehe it only serves a purpose of claim on me.  By him.  Because he’s a jealous man.  And me wearing his ring shows him I am proud to be with him. and he likes that and I want to please him.

I keep telling myself I have until June 2018.

Gosh what’s going to happen.

Life has too much spice..


It’s all over the world, it’s in pedophilia code.  Errr how did that subject get into my journal?  One day I’ll have to face my fear in order to move on from whatever is bothering me regarding that.  Please bless me god.


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