I feel so lost and empty. I give too much to everyone; love, attention, time. But no one seems to be able to reciprocate. I have a relationship but I’m not really sure what to call it. I give my all to it. He is my entire world but I am not his. I feel lonely even though I have people in my life because those people just don’t make the time for me. Yes, I need a lot of attention but I just want to feel loved. I feel like everyone else gets what I need. I have a huge family but not enough support. I feel forgotten for lack of a better word. I walk around the world lost and confused. Always searching for something that I’m not sure I will ever find. Why is it that I always get ignored? I have feelings too; way too many. I suffer from bipolar depression which makes living really hard. I just want to be happy but every time I search for it, it evades me. I love someone but I don’t know if that someone really loves me. It’s different to love than to be in love or love the idea of something. I make a great care taker, mother, lover but I give and I give and I am getting very tired of giving without getting anything back. I’m tired and not sleepy tired just tired. The world just doesn’t get me. So I finally came here. I need to feel like my voice is heard at least somewhere. I have dreams where I have no voice like literally and I think it’s because I always feel silenced. It’s taboo to talk about my feelings so when I can’t take anymore, I finally explode. I feel like my I’m not living. I exist but I don’t live. My life has no real purpose. Would anyone miss me if I was gone? Maybe the help I provide but me, miss the real me. I don’t think anyone knows the real me and I think it’s sad. No one ever really wants to listen to tragedy do they? It makes for good poetry and music and movies but not real life.

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