Why are you so angry?

Today I was hurt yet again.  My husband used to be caring, now he is constantly verbally hurtful.  Every day I am learning to hate him and myself more.  He does realize he hurts me as he tries to apologize.  The apology to me is becoming less meaningful each time.

I could leave him.  It would be chalenging and put everything in upheaval.  Part of me is afraid to leave.  Everything is so expensive and I would also still need to support my oldest child who just became an adult herself.  She wants to become a pyschaitrist which entails a ton of school for her.  Moving would jostle her momentum.  

Part of me still hopes things will get better also.  Things began going south after my husbands daughter (before our marriage) showed up needing a place to live… to which we welcomed which open arms.  

She came with a horde of issues, the worst was drug abuse.  He could not handle her.  Her constant bad choices revovling around drugs and hoodlum drug pushing boyfriends pushed him over the edge.  I became his release I took his anger for her.  She moved out finally when we refused to let her newest registered sex offender boyfriend move in.  

Yet his anger remains.  I just want to be happy.  If it means I have to face life without him then so be it.  Right now I just feel anxious, sad and resentful.

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