Ok, so it has been a little while since I have written anything out, and well I guess now is as good as any. In my first journal entry I wrote about beginnings. And here in the last week I faced another beginning. Beginnings of the holiday season without my wife.
I knew this time of year was going to be tough. Thanksgiving, a time to be thankful. I have to admit, there have been moments where I have sat and haven’t really been thankful. But then one of the crazy pooches bounces up on my lap and reminds me there is plenty to be thankful for. And slowly, little by little, my whole mood changes and I see just all what I have been blessed with.
You see in those times when I wasn’t feeling thankful, Satan was whispering in my ear how can you be thankful for the loss of your wife? How can you be thankful for anything because she isn’t here with you. And that is when God uses the smallest of things to change your whole thought process. A little 4 pound pooch, jumps in my lap, and looks at me. “Aren’t you thankful for me” her eyes say. And with that, everything I look at brings thankful thoughts and memories back around. My how I have been blessed throughout this year. Blessed with family, my church, and friends that love and support me. And as I sat looking at all the things around me, the last thing I look at hanging on the wall was a cross. The tears begin to flow, as the biggest blessing I had ever received sacrificed Himself to give me the gift of eternal life. And knowing that I will one day see my wife again because of that blessing. How can I not be thankful?