Back To Work….

Every time I come back to work after time off I find that I’m even more ready to leave. I worked yesterday and today I just want to be done. My back is horrible, I hope that it gets better with stretching and yes I’ll walk. I don’t go to the Doctors if I’m still moving and I realize that not only do I not have one but I don’t really care about ‘prevention’ medicine. I don’t really have any energy and at this point really don’t care. Being in pain and growing older is the dying process and I’m dying. I was hoping it would be faster and less painful. I don’t want to be old, I watch folks grow older and suffer….I’m ready and being 62 I am old and am those folks I watch, except their older. So I guess it’s working as I will die at a younger age. I would like to have a couple of yrs. of retirement. I’ve given thousands of dollars to my Nephew at this point and even though we’ve talked about it….at the end of the day the money is gone and I won’t be able to it back again. Just another reason to go as I won’t have much of a retirement as I won’t have many options. I don’t want to buy anything with them in a couple of yrs. even if I want to live somewhere that is quiet and comfortable for me. I’ll just be stressed as it will cost even more money. I want the money from this Apt. to cover my dying in a more comfortable place then some nursing home. I can’t afford anything but I can use the money here to pay for some of it. I don’t know it’s just to hard to thing about it all and again…I’m just processing this very well. Off to work….Thanks

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