Isn’t it so strange, how people can come from entirely different background, be raised with totally different childhoods, and meet one day and just click like they’re the exact same person? Well, thats how my friends and I are. Starting with Chelsea. We met as young teenage girls and have been inseparable ever since, through relationships, hardships, distant phases, and to this day we are inseparable. You know they say once you’ve been friends for 10 years you’ll be friends for life. We’re almost there! Secondly meeting Linnea, out of nowhere we just clicked. All the way from Maine, like throwing a dart to a map and wound up in Chattanooga Tn, to become one of my best friends. Then Rachel, coming from even the same school and not knowing who one another are, then meeting one day at a club and instantly.. bestfriends, wouldn’t you know. And lastly, Ashley, the sweetest quietest seemingly innocent girl who just clicked with me. But best of all, were all best friends. Who ever gets lucky enough to have a group of girls to consider your unbiological sisters. To share great times with, laughing and singing on car rides to the movies, girls nights in the bedroom floor with stories that go on forever. A group of friends, drama free, knowing that you can trust every one of them with your deepest darkest secret. Everything aside, no judgement, regardless of any outside views on the world, because we all share seemingly different ones, nothing matters. Just a giant friendship.
So, thats where I come to my first story. I have gone through a lot in my 22 years of life. More than most average 22 year olds. I don’t have very much close family. (though I cherish my family I have very much and deeply love them all). I have come to a time in my life where I feel like I have made a huge decision I am incredibly nervous about, and I am so lucky to have received the amount of support for this decision with little conflict from not just family, but from the friends I have listed above. I have made the decision to have a weight loss procedure done, specifically a gastric sleeve, and shit, I am nervous as hell. All of my life I feel like I have predominately struggled with my weight, and body image. I know that it will be a huge lifestyle change. I love food, I love alcohol. I mean who doesn’t right? But all bullshit aside what helped me make this choice is, from my weight comes health issues. PCOS, infertility, insulin resistance. These are just a few that I suffer from now. Instead of getting wasted on the weekends and pissing all my money away on alcohol and dealing with miserable hangovers, I would rather live a healthy lifestyle, and minimize if not reverse thee conditions and have children one day, run and play on the playground with them one day. I can’t count how many times I have cried, and cried over my weight. I feel miserable, in my eyes I LOOK miserable. I want to not just look good, I want to feel good.
I dont pray often, I don’t even know if I really know HOW to pray, or even if there is a certain way you’re supposed to pray, but I do know, that I somehow in someway know, that if there is a God or someone out there. He’s hearing my cry for help and hope that I am blessed enough to change my ways, and go through with this big step in the right direction. I want to be able to change my nights out drunk to nights in the gym on a runners high, I want to feel my best at 30. I think I may weigh around 260 right now, maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. With this journal I am starting, I am going to talk about my entire life, all the way as a child to now, and in the future. The good, the bad, the downright ugly. Are you ready to see what its like to take a walk in my shoes. The “rich girl who gets whatever she wants”? How could anything go wrong in her life? Well Buckle Up Bitch, its about to be one wild ride!