Well here I go.

I was going down the freeway and I had my music on my phone on shuffle and all these old songs were coming on. I’m not talking real old but old to take me back to my younger days in high school, you know, when life was much simpler. It amazes me how something can let you have a memory and then something can also put you back at that exact moment in time and you could just remember everything around you. That’s what I experienced today. Today hasn’t started off great and I’m actually sitting in my car an hour before my shift starts due to an arguement I had with the wife (I’ll save that for later…) during my journey down the road Kanye came on, some lupe fiasco and some all American rejects played. I was able to take myself out of a shitty mood and placed myself in 11th grade me walking around school. I swear I could see the tiles on the floor and the lockers that were all beat up and the trash can right st the door of the 100 building at AHS. It was…. well I can’t really explain it. It was just a better time I guess. The crazy thing is, this isn’t the first time this has happened. This is just the first time I’m writing about it. My memories was something I could just remember and be like, oh yeah that was a great time but lately I’ve been finding myself actually reliving a moment like driving down ball road with my dad after an angels game and getting some Del Taco after the game or swimming with my brother, mom and step dad in our pool during the summer. A year ago they were just memories. Today I can find myself there and can remember every detail and it’s crazy. I can seem to pin point why my head is doing this. Am I unhappy where I’m at in life and I’m searching for a better time or could it be nothing? I’m not sure anymore but I figure me starting a journal and sorting out all my thoughts may help me figure out what my purpose is in life and figure out who I really am because sometimes I wake up confused. Ever since the big move to AZ I haven’t made many friends so I feel like all I got is this right now. What I do know about myself and what I want to share is I’m CG, I’m 26, a father, a husband, a brother, a son, a graduate of college, and a homeowner but something is not right and I’m going to try to figure out what it is by writing.

-CG

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