One of many

I am just one of so many reaching out to the world.

Why would me specifically in among millions of people be given a shit about?

I don’t mean this is a self deprecating way necessarily, I’m just trying to figure out what’s worth giving a shit about about me.

Like sure there’s things but as a whole I’m such a boring person. I spent so much time distanced from the world and myself as a coping mechanism that now that I’m conscious of myself as a person again I don’t know who I truly am or how to make myself happy. 75% of the time I am just numb. I try to engage with so much nowadays but I still don’t feel as much as I want to be able to.

I am neutral so much but at least that’s better than negative like I used to be, right?

I have gotten so much further in life then I ever thought I would, I need to be/ am grateful for that. I just need to keep pushing forward and up. I need to engage with the real world more, to engage with art and creativity more ( my own and others ), I need to find things that make me laugh, cry, give a shit in anyway.

I need to not fall back into the contentedness of soft comfort and escape depression/dissociation can be.

I am real/alive/human

I can be happy/loved/loving

I will be and have all that I need and want in life….it just takes time and active choice/action

One thought on “One of many”

  1. Hello! You matter! What you say and think matters. I give a shit. And you give a shit too (even if you don’t want to admit it).

    I confirm being neutral is better than being negative. But please have an opinion. Don’t be shame to allow people to get to know the real you. Build yourself up and develop character. Be a strong person or you will fall for anything.

    You sound like me do you put yourself last? Do you help others before yourself? Do me a favor and do yourself first for a whole day. Try it

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