Wow… It’s been almost exactly a year since I last wrote

I don’t know how to start this. Maybe by issuing a apology for how gross I was? I’ve only read two of my posted journals and honestly have no idea who or what they’re about. 

Unfortunately my grammar/spelling won’t get much better since I’m dumb and am typing on my phone. 

Not so sure what to talk about? Maybe that aside from all the wining about boys and girls in previous entries, I think I’m decidedly 75% asexual. I’m still coming to terms with it and am hoping that something will change. 

I always thought I was emotionally stunted because I never got crushes or felt any sort of physical attraction towards People. I’m beginning to come to terms with this but it’s hard.

Im not 100% ace though, I just jerked off yesterday but I hadn’t in 6 months or so. 

 

Dunno where I’m going with this, Gracie is still my best friend and Alex was and is out of the picture for a while. Arron and I didn’t talk for several weeks but I’m not really sure how to talk to him honestly.

I feel so shit. I blame it on everyone and every situation I’m in because fully agknowloging the issue of my “sucidal tendencies” is hard. It’s hard for both me and my family to wrap our heads around plus years of being taught that my mental health can be solved with meditation and healthy eating and that it’s all because of my “severely introverted personality” and the fact that I’m “highly sensitive”

My stomach issues went full blown eating disorder and now my gag reflex is shit and I can’t even brush my teeth.

I’ve stopped for now but I’m also not eating for 3 days because I’m 115 and that is scary AF.

 

 

I dunno I’m sad

 Lonely

 

Desperate for friends

 

Thanks for listening charlie 🙂

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