Introduction of a Woman on a journey!

Since I’ve decided to make this journal public, I’ll use a “non de plume” or pen name to maintain some form of anonymity. You can call me BadMom101 for now. Hi, nice to meet you! Why the choice in name? Well, as I progress with this journal some of you may come to agree or disagree with that name. Either way… this is how I sometimes feel when I fall short or misdirect my attention. I’ve come here for the same thing most of you have, the opportunity to get EVERYTHING off my chest without having someone judge or tell me “it’s going to be ok.” I just wanna talk/write! I know it’s going to be ok! This is what I live daily! Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. Successes and failures. I’ve long since learned the world won’t be what I want it to be, so please just listen/read and sympathize or empathize if you need to because this more than anything is what I need when life piles on! If you’re here, I’m sure you already know the feeling! 

Well to start I’m a mother of three amazing boys. They all have different fathers. Please be advised this is my first time mentioning this publicly. But we’ll get to that later. They are completely my whole entire world! Although I feel overwhelmed and strained at times, when they’re not home I feel empty and alone. Note: while I do plan on speaking about how my parenting affects other aspects of my life, I won’t go into detail regarding my children in an effort to protect their privacy. Anyway, my three sons are 13, 12 and 4. Big gap huh? Well long story short, I thoughts I finally found “the one” 5 years ago and decided to solidify my love with a son of his very own. He is gone, but the child remains and so do the 80lbs I gained during my pregnancy! See?! There’s my bad mom streak poking it’s head! My secret resentment towards my baby boy for taking me out of the best shape of my life! Smh! What’s wrong with me??? Wait, sorry… FOCUS BADMOM101! Ok I’m back! Sorry about that.

Back to the intro. I am currently working full time in an office position which I love dearly! Although it’s boring at time, well most of the time! It’s a fulfilling field and I completely BULLSHIT MY WAY INTO IT! Also, a story for another time! My parent is a wonderful mother whom I love dearly but rarely appreciate enough is probably the center of my world and absolutely my coparent in raising my three fatherless sons. Should I ever reveal my identity and for some reason obtain mass popularity, let it be known from this journal, my online debut… That she is the strongest most humble and kind woman walking this earth. MomDukes as we’ll call her in this journal has taught me the most valuable and meaningful lessons  both verbally and throughout her own journey. I can only aspire to be half the woman she is! My friends, I have none. Short story huh? Well there’s some drama there in the ending of those relationships but not too much in their inceptions and during. For now, until I come in to contact with more genuine people my friends are my abundant amount of family members. I have more first and second cousins than I can count! Though we go through our ups and downs I value their ever growing presence in my life more than anything ever! They are some of the kindest and more often most honest people you will ever meet. We have a habit of adopting the close friends of one another in to our fold as additional cousins and would protect one another to no end. 4 genius siblings who seem to be bond to contribute more to society than I ever will. A stern and forcefully introverted step dad. A dead grandma who I’m certain watches over me and a live one who I’m certain prays for me even though I don’t pay her the attention she deserves. Oh and a dead dad who I hope I can meet again one day so we can just talk about how crazy life turned out! 

Thats me. My current identity. I want to say more but alas I’ve titled this the introduction so I’ll try to focus on just that. I won’t write a “click bait” formatted statement like “Click Next For The Juicy Deets!” Because I don’t aprticu find myself all that interesting. But I will say, I have something to say and I think you’ll enjoy it. Come back or don’t. I need an outlet! For those of you who are intrigued next time I’ll discuss the story of my childrens’ conception. And how although it may sound like it, I’m not a hoochie coochie fast tailed hoe, but rather a woman looking for love far too long and still yet to find it! Sound like a good read huh?! I’m excite myself to type it! 

In closing, please come back! I need someone to talk to! 😘

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