My family always judge me – no matter what I do

I always thought that family were supposed to love and care for you, support you etc 

My family are so cold and cruel to me at times I honestly feel like that if I wasn’t related to them I wouldn’t bother having them in my life. I feel like they think I’m hopeless, soft, stupid and incapable.

I have the biggest heart and have so much compassion. I’m a social worker but that’s the reason I became a social worker because I feel for people, I have empathy and I want to help them on their journey. My family think I’m weak and that I tolerate too much and when I confront them about anger and hate that they feel they try and tell me to stop being a social worker. The truth is this is just who I am.

Naturally I have forgiven my ex and remained friends with her and my boy then still gets to see her. I know even though she did what she did that she’d never hurt him and I know when she gets unstable so I can manage that side of things. My family just want me to axe her out of my life and his life. As if it’s her fault that she has mental health issues to begin with. I’m so tired of the let’s throw this away because it’s too hard attitude. People need compassion and love. Certainly there are boundaries hence not being in a romantic relationship with her but that doesn’t mean I can’t love her in other ways whilst still ensuring my own safety. 

It breaks my heart that the people who are supposed to love me and support me the most do not have a single clue and I’m tired of letting it bother me so much and it affecting my self-esteem. I wish they could see the amazing, loving and empathic person I am and that it’s a good thing to be this way. 

 

 

3 thoughts on “My family always judge me – no matter what I do”

  1. I often feel ostracized by my family as well. I was severely bullied and learned early to be the one to strike the first blow. This is backwards and often causes me to be perceived the villain. But I know it’s not their fault but mine to allowing their judgements from what seems like the day I was born to mold me into a mean person at times. If you still have your compassion and empathetic traits, hold on to them! Seek kindness above retaliation of the same behaviors taught to you. This is your first journal I’ve read and from the tone I can tell there were previous ones where you discussed your ex, her struggles and the welfare of your child. From that I’ve gathered you’re a good parent and should embrace that characteristic of your identity over the one you feel your family has loved on you. Just be happy. And when you’re not press on! We always need to press on! Love vibes to you from me!

  2. Thank you so much for your kind words that honestly means so much and I really like your perspective on this. I think I do need to detach from how they view me and just live my own truth. They can’t hold me prisoner if I don’t let them.

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